It’s often difficult to break free from feelings that we hold towards certain people – with our friends, our family and other close relations. Feelings of resentment can build up if these feelings are suppressed over time and we can find it difficult to live our day to day life with the burdens we carry along.
Resentment is not something we should try to avoid – it’s inevitable. If we are placed in a situation where we don’t feel cared for or are neglected by those that we constantly try to show love towards these feelings will build up over time – it’s no fault of yours, but a mark of your brilliant compassion and undying commitment to your loved ones despite their inadequacies.
Often the most caring people have to deal with the most meaningless bullshit because they continue to try and try and put themselves in a position where there is potential to be hurt – they care so deeply about their relationships.
Time will pass and these feelings may build into resentment, and that’s okay because you have truly been hurt. We need to realise our hurt so we can move past it. If we don’t it will keep coming up in the places that we least want it to – like in future relationships – and that’s not good. So be content with the fact you have been hurt and it has generated negative feelings in you towards your assailant, but that’s in the past – the hurt has been done, now you must move forward.
The next challenge is in forgiving despite these negative feelings – one of the hardest things in life to do, but achievable nonetheless. Forgiving is less about them and more about you. It’s a mark that you have become at peace with your past and are willing to live a happy future despite your past. The act of forgiveness does not mean you condone what took place; it is an act of kindness towards yourself, an act of self love.
It means that you have accepted the past as wrong and have accepted that it may not have turned in your favour – but you know that these hardships will only bring you more joy in the future – to realise the highs of happiness we must come peerlessly close to the lows, yet not fall off the bike, but keep peddling to gain momentum and gain equilibrium once again.
Don’t be afraid to forgive, it will give you more peace than you know – it will reveal to the world that you are not an entitled individual, but a person of dignity who can keep striving forward even with that chip on your shoulder.
On the other side of fear is unimaginable happiness. Forgiveness of others is self love.
~ Adam, 2019